Proposal

Recently, Jen and I celebrated the two year anniversary of the time when I proposed to her. Here is something that I wrote around that time to recount those events:

Back in September 2008, I went to visit Hawai'i to for Matson Matthew's wedding. While staying in Downtown Puputown, Waipahu, I found myself thinking about Jen all of the time and wishing she was there with me. I realized, to my great surprise, that I loved her more than I love Hawai'i.

This was a strange realization for me because I'd never thought I could love anything more than Hawai'i. I loved my mission there very much, and would always think about it. But I realized that I had begun to think about Jen more than I thought about Hawai'i.

I realized this was serious.

I realized that I wanted to marry her.

I began brainstorming about how to propose to her. Jen and I were both strongly opposed to the idea of ring shopping together before officially being engaged. We both agreed that if we were to get engaged, it should be a surprise. A temporary ring would be acceptable until after I proposed, when we could get a permanent engagement ring together.

When I came to visit in September, I brought a Marshallese Amimono flower that Handy Ceaser had helped me make for Jen. She absolutely loved this flower, so I got the idea that I should make her a Marshallese Amimono ring. I thought this was romantic, like the old traditions where guys would make something for their brides. In Wales for example, the guys would carve spoons to show their feelings for their brides. The more work they put into carving the spoon, the more love they showed for the woman.

The Marshallese Shell Ring that I made for Jen

Within a few weeks after returning to Spokane, I practiced making rings every weekend until coming up with my favorite design. I may have gotten carried away with putting shells on top because it was pretty top heavy. I quickly realized it probably wasn't as durable or practical as I'd originally though, so I then began my search for a substitute temporary engagement ring.

In keeping with the traditionalist theme, I decided upon an Irish Claddagh ring. The Claddagh design has two hands holding a heart with a crown on top. This was a traditional friendship and engagement ring. I first saw this design when I was in Blarney, Ireland almost ten years ago, and I remember thinking it was the most beautiful ring design I'd ever seen (which remained true until I saw Jen's wedding ring...now nothing can compare to that). I thought the Claddagh would be a great ring to give to Jen because not only was she my best friend whom I wanted to marry, but I would also be honoring my Irish heritage (my other island heritage).

The Irish Claddagh Ring I got for Jen

Once again I set off on a quest to find the perfect temporary engagement ring for my girl. After scouring all of the malls in the Spokane region, I couldn't find a single Claddagh ring. Around Thanksgiving, I began searching online and finally found a beautiful ring with a cubic zirconium in the heart. I thought it was a beautiful ring for my gorgeous girlfriend.

Flash forward a few weeks. Suddenly I find myself trapped in Spokane, snowed in and unable to get back to Jen. I had two engagement rings burning a hole in my pocket and I was going crazy. Soon everyone in the airports I visited knew I was fighting to get back to my girlfriend to propose to her, and gave me all sorts of advice ("Don't get cold feet in all of the snow. Heh heh.").

But as previously reported, I did in fact escape, and I was able to surprise Jen. We had a great Christmas together, and had a lot of protection while traveling down to California (We were in a scary snow storm going from SLC to Provo on Christmas. The next day in Arizona, we hit a random Semi-Truck tire that was rolling down the dark interstate, but it didn't do any damage to the car). Originally, I'd planned to ask her on Post-Boxing Day (December 27th), which was a holiday I'd celebrated every year since I was a teenager as being the day you have you last big adventure for the year (i.e. hiking, sledding, etc.). My rational was what better adventure is there than to get engaged? But alas, the moment just didn't feel right, and I decided to wait until New Year's Eve.

I then planned to propose on December 30th, but then Jen’s mom stuck her fingers in a food chopper and needed to go to the hospital. We saved my future mother-in-law’s fingers, but I had to postpone my surprise again.

For New Year's Eve, Jen and I had been talking about going to Disneyland for months. Upon discovering tickets were $90 a person however, we tried looking online for discounted tickets. We were able to find a good deal for New Year's Day, which ruined my original plan to propose outside her favorite ride, "It's a Small World." Instead, we had a fun day of adventure and spontaneity. I declared upfront that I wanted to have a really romantic night and to woo her, so it was a great day being able to plan it together.

We first went to downtown LA to the fashion district, which feels like you've stepped into a South American marketplace. I loved it, and we found some really cool clothes there. Dinnertime came, and we went to her favorite restaurant, the Olive Garden. I happened to have a gift card that I'd earned from successfully walking 100 miles at my old job over the summer. Jen and I had covered that distance together by walking her dog, Rudy, together, so it was appropriate that we share the reward for the contest together.

After dinner, we decided to try to go to the beach for change of the New Year. Originally, we'd thought to find a fireworks show on the coast, but decided that we wanted to have our own private New Year's celebration. We drove through thick fog to the first random beach we found, Sunset Beach. The fog was soo thick, we could only seen the road a few feet ahead of us. At the beach however, the fog made the scene more magical and mysterious.

We laid our blankets down on the cold, gritty sand and began dancing together to music we had on our cell phones. We listened to songs that were really special for both of us and helped set a romantic mood. Midnight came and we kissed to celebrate the coming of the New Year. Farther down the beach fireworks were set off, which appeared as colored flashes in the fog. Seeing the romantic scenario I'd set up, I knew my time to act had come.

Scared to death, I told Jen that I had one last present for her. I had given her a series of small Christmas gifts during our time together, so I don't this surprised her very much. I pulled out the Claddagh ring and proposed marriage to her. It seemed to last for several blissful hours, but I don't think it lasted more than a few minutes, with me saying all sorts of wonderful things about her and telling her I wanted to marry her. She was amazed and overjoyed, to put it lightly. She kept shouting into the misty night, "I'm going to marry this boy! I'm going to marry Brian Tanner!" She was the happiest woman and the world, and my heart soared because I knew I was the source of her joy.

We left the beach that night as an engaged couple, and I left with extra burden on my shoulders. I felt I had become a man by proposing to my girlfriend. I was no longer just floating through life. I had a purpose and a family to provide for.

It was simply awesome!