Summer Jambo #1: Spokane, WA

This summer I find myself in a unique situation where I am planning to go on a number of Jambos (a Marshallese concept for a random vacation, usually with little or no planning, and usually involves crashing with relatives/friends for free). I have been needing to go check out a few law schools, so I was able to go to Gonzaga University in Spokane, WA last week with my brother, Daniel. Daniel had helped re-activate Dean Howard, a man from Texas, who was planning to go to the temple to be sealed to his family there in Spokane, so we thought this was a great excuse to go. Cheap plane tickets were purchased, a good discount on a hotel room arranged, and within two weeks from finding out about the temple sealing, we were stepping off the plane to Washington.

Much to my mother's dismay (she always knows when I'm going to do something stupid/dangerous), I thought it would be more fun to ride public transportation than get a rental car. Upon going to the bus stop at the airport, we found our hotel had a courtesy shuttle that we could ride for free. Fifteen minutes later we entered our room, took a glance out the window to see our view of the Spokane river, then immediately left for adventure.

Daniel and I had four goals for our trip:

1. Visit the Gonzaga Law School.
2. Attend the Spokane Temple with Dean Howard.
3. Find the Spokane LDS Institute.
4. Find Handy Ceaser/the Marshallese Community.

Handy Ceaser is a Marshallese woman I first met when she was living in downtown Honolulu. She had been baptized about the same time I began learning Marshallese, so when I met her a few months later, I was pretty fluent at the language. I was one of the first missionaries she'd met who could actually speak her language, so she became quite fond of me. A master at weaving amimono handicraft, she would always give me amazing flowers and ties and whatnot for my mother and girlfriends.

Daniel displaying some of Handy Ceaser's Handiwork

Despite my Marshallese language skills, Daniel has long been Handy's favorite. Shortly after he graduated from high school, we went on a family trip to Hawai'i where Handy taught us how to create amimono flowers. Daniel quickly picked up the skill because she gave him hands on help, but I was unable to work very quickly because she just told me what to do verbally. Never having learned words like twist, pull, or fold, I got lost, and Daniel won her endearing love.

Handy is also infamous for calling me in the middle of the night. Never fail, she would call me at 3:30 at least once every six months. This would often make me laugh, so it wasn't ever annoying to me. The weird thing is she would always ask for Daniel when she would call, even when he was on his mission to Texas.

Handy, being a professional grandmother, would make frequent jambos to visit all of her grandchildren, scattered across the Marshall Islands, Hawai'i, Arkansas, etc. She moved in with a daughter in Spokane about a year ago and was attending a community college there to improve her English, so Daniel and I thought this would be a great opportunity to see her again.

Have you seen me?

Unfortunately, because Handy moves around so frequently, and has a hard time keeping the same telephone number in service for longer than two months at a time, we had no way of knowing where to find her. The Nangs, a Marshallese family I baptized in Hawai'i that has since moved to Utah, gave me the phone number for their uncle Bein (strangely enough, Bein was one of my childhood nicknames...who knew it was a Marshallese name?), but that turned out to also be disconnected. Thus, we were forced to use our own ingenuity to try and find Handy. Hearing how large the Spokane Marshallese community supposedly was, we had high hopes of making contact with someone from the islands there.

The Wendy's across the street from GU where we found the Marshallese girl

The very first place Daniel and I went to after leaving our hotel was Wendy's. We'd been in the store two minutes before I noticed a Marshallese girl working in the kitchen! We couldn't believe our luck! We found a Micronesian in the very first place we went! Daniel said the odds were mind boggling, and I couldn't help but laugh at our good fortune. Unfortunately, she was busy working with a headset on, so she didn't hear our "Yokwe" greeting. Not wanting to cause a scene, we ended up leaving, but with high hopes that we would eventually be able to find Handy.

After that side adventure, we got down to the main business of checking out the campus.

Situated on the Spokane River, Gonzaga was named after a Jesuit Priest from the 1500's.

We had a lot of fun touring the university, even though we didn't have a map or anything to show us where to go.

Eventually we found the law school. It was hard to miss because the fire alarm was blaring and there were two fire trucks parked in front. Someone must have warned them that we were coming! Daniel's hypothesis was that the local Yellow-bellied Marmots, or Rock Chucks, were to blame.

Some people would see this as a bad omen, but I found this whole scenario pretty funny. It also provided a great opportunity to size up the student body and teachers. None of them looked too shady, and besides a few cigarettes, the majority of them could all have fit in on BYU campus without getting busted by the honor code police.

Once the firemen got the alarm turned off, we were able to go inside. A great rush came at me when I walked in the doors, and I felt really cool. It was a good feeling, especially when I walked into the courtroom the students use to give cheap legal assistance to local people. I just couldn't stop smiling and felt great. I like it when I receive confirmation from the Spirit about decisions.

Having found the law school, we then turned our sights on finding the local institute. My hope was that I'd find a bulletin board or something where people looking for roommates could post openings. We eventually found the institute, but it was abandoned. There was a note on the wall indicating that Institute graduation was that evening, so we had the luck to show up on one of the few days when no one would be around. Oh well, better luck next time, eh?

Daniel and I hit a few more fast food restaurants that night, looking for more Marshallese people, but our luck had run out. We didn't see any more for the rest of the jambo.

The next morning, Daniel and I decided to wake up early and go to morning mass before going to the temple. Daniel had been telling me about different things he'd learned in a Christian history class about the Catholic Mass, so we thought it'd be fun to attend there while visiting on campus.

Coo-coo for Coco Puffs. Anyone paying $4.50 for cold cereal would have to be bwebwe. Note the pinky in the air and the fancy tie.

We had a quick breakfast in the snooty hotel restaurant (Daniel had coco-puffs in a fine china bowl) before rushing off to church. We were the only ones dressed up, besides the deacon and priest that is, so we stood out pretty sharply. That and we didn't join in performing the mass ceremony.

I couldn't help laugh quietly to myself when the deacon began his short talk by giving the Catholic version of "So the Bishop asked me to speak the other day..." and a "I didn't get to prepare much so what's going to come is going to be pretty awful..." It wasn't too bad overall, a little light on the personal application parts, but not too bad.
At the end of the ceremony, the priest gave an invitation to any who wished to join the parish to come forward (i.e. to be baptized), and he made a B-line towards us once the meeting was over to personally invite us. Upon learning we were visiting from Provo, he immediately asked if we were missionaries. Daniel and I looked at each other and shared a glance before telling him we weren't. Besides, I was wearing tan pants! Missionaries can't wear tan pants!

Daniel and Dean Howard at the Spokane Temple.

Not long after than, Dean Howard's nephew picked the two of us up and gave us a ride to the Spokane Temple. He gave us some pretty funny looks when we told him we'd just left Mass and that I was part Tongan, but we soon hit it off. Our time in the temple was neat, and Dean was sealed to his 87 year-old mother and deceased father and wife.

Dorthy, I don't think we're in Texas any more. Daniel and Dean, two lost Texans at the Spokane Temple.

Afterwards, the three of us sat in front of the temple talking, which was a great experience. We were then kidnapped by the family and forced to eat five pizzas because they thought we were so funny.

From Left to Right: Dean's Sister, Dean's Mother (Bubu), Dean Howard, Daniel Tanner, and Sister Skinfil, Dean's Niece.

The rest of our stay was pretty uneventful, besides the occasional run-in with hordes of yellow-bellied marmots. We returned safely the next day, having successfully survived going on vacation without a rental car or having our feet fall off from walking everywhere.

Happy Family at the Graduation Party, from left to right: Valarie Tanner, Dustin Nang, Brian Tanner, and Kathy Nang (Bubu).

Now, while we were unsuccessful in finding Handy Ceaser in Spokane, there was still a sense of successfully re-uniting with long lost Marshallese family members, for there was a big graduation party that night in West Valley/Magna for Dustin Nang, my little brother.

Grandma and Grandpa! For some reason, Kathy always calls me Jimma (grandpa) when I call her Bubu (grandma).

I brought my mom to the party, where who did we find, but Kathy Nang! Kathy was the one who first introduced me to her son Rick's family in Hawai'i and facilitated their baptism. Kathy remained living in Hawai'i while the rest of her family came here to Utah, so it was a pleasant surprise to see her there.

Mona! Anella Boaz forces more food upon my poor mother. We'd already been eating for an hour by this point, but the food kept coming. Note the fish in the right corner that I'd picked clean by my very own fingers.

My mom had never been to a Marshallese party before, so she was unprepared for the huge outpouring of food they presented her. She was a good sport and ate some, even though she'd already had dinner, and didn't even flinch when I started eating an entire grilled fish with my fingers (imported from the Marshall Islands, it was exquisite!).

Momma and Bubu Nang.

There was a lot of laughter, and it was the perfect ending to my first jambo of the summer.

The Spokane Temple.

Salt Lake City Declares War On Sandy!

This made me laugh pretty hard...recently Robert Kirby of the Salt Lake Tribune chaperoned a number of 2nd graders to meet with the mayor of Salt Lake City. As reported in his column, Kirby documented the first crucial question the kids would ask their mayor:

Kid No. 1: 'Are you going to start a war with Sandy City?'
Mayor's Answer: 'What? Of course not. Sandy City is our neighbor and friend.'

All I have to say is I'd like to see a Salt Lake City army try to get through Murray to invade Sandy! I don't know which would claim more victims: the asbestos tainted ground, strip clubs and state liquor stores, or the ridiculously affordable cars.

Smokestacks for Life!

Crazy People Make Me Laugh

Crazy people make me laugh. Always have, probably always will. I always get a thrill meeting strange people, and my life certainly has not been found lacking in that department. Which may be why I find the web strip Garfield Minus Garfield so hilarious...the website describes this as a comic about "schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life." When I was a kid, I thought Garfield was hilarious. This is way funnier than I remember it being...

'Apinetai ko e Palofita

Call me crazy, but I really love reading the Book of Mormon in other languages. I've read it so many times in English, that I found myself not paying as much attention as I should. Starting on my mission with the Hawaiian language, I've found that I get more out of my reading when it is in another language. I am forced to read it more slowly, and thus pay more attention. But even more importantly, the different languages render familiar sayings in unique ways, leading to greater insight or new interpretations that weren't seen before.

Currently, I'm in Mosaia of my new Tongan translation of "Ko e Tohi 'a Molomona" which came out last year. This time while reading, I think I finally understand the story of Abinadi in king Noah's court. King Noah's people are having a crazy, wild fun time breaking the laws of God, so God sends the Prophet Abinadi to tell the people they needed to repent or they were going to be destroyed. The King and his priests get mad at him for trying to ruin their fun, so they arrest him and have a mock trial before they kill him. Before being killed, Abinadi prophecies about the death of the king and other events which all eventually come true. The story is also symbolic of Jesus Christ preaching repentance to the Jews of his day, being rejected and killed by them.

Now, the part I've always wondered about was at the beginning of Abinadi's trial, one of the priests quotes seemingly random verses from Isaiah:

And it came to pass that one of them said unto him: What meaneth the words which are written, and which have been taught by our fathers, saying:

How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings; that publisheth peace; that bringeth good tidings of good; that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth; Thy watchmen shall lift up the voice; with the voice together shall they sing; for they shall see eye to eye when the Lord shall bring again Zion; Break forth into joy; sing together ye waste places of Jerusalem; for the Lord hath comforted his people, he hath redeemed Jerusalem; The Lord hath made bare his holy arm in the eyes of all the nations, and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God?

-Mosiah 12:20-24

Now, if I was a wicked priest who doesn't like upstart prophets coming along and telling my followers to stop listening to me, my first thought wouldn't be to read random verses from the Old Testament to him and think that by itself would kill him off. I've always tried to understand what on earth they were trying to get at with these verses, because it obviously backfires and Abinadi then goes off for several chapters about the mission of Christ and condemning the priests for not teaching the people about this.

Here's what I think the priests were trying to get at: I think the priests were trying to use these verses to prove Abinadi was not a real prophet from God. I think they were presenting that if Abinadi was a real prophet, he would have brought a message of peace to the people, instead of:

Thus saith the Lord, it shall come to pass that this generation, because of their iniquities, shall be brought into bondage, and shall be smitten on the cheek; yea, and shall be driven by men, and shall be slain; and the vultures of the air, and the dogs, yea, and the wild beasts, shall devour their flesh.

And it shall come to pass that I will smite this my people with sore afflictions, yea, with famine and with pestilence; and I will cause that they shall howl all the day long.

And it shall come to pass that except they repent I will utterly destroy them from off the face of the earth.

-Mosiah 12:2,4,8 (italics added)

I think the priests were using those verses from Isaiah to show that Abinadi's message of destruction couldn't be from God because God obviously loves his people and wouldn't punish them like that. Abinadi instead runs with those verses and even quotes some of Isaiah himself to show that not all prophets preach nothing but peace, including Isaiah himself. He quotes Isaiah to talk about the suffering Christ would go through to atone for our sins. Abinadi was teaching that the role of prophets is to not just encourage the people in their good activities, but to also tell them to repent.

The story of King Noah and Abinadi illustrates the principle taught later in the Book of Mormon by Samuel the Lamanite:

Yea, wo unto this people, because of this time which has arrived, that ye do cast out the prophets, and do mock them, and cast stones at them, and do slay them, and do all manner of iniquity unto them, even as they did of old time. And now when ye talk, ye say: If our days had been in the days of our fathers of old, we would not have slain the prophets; we would not have stoned them, and cast them out.

Behold ye are worse than they; for as the Lord liveth, if a prophet come among you and declareth unto you the word of the Lord, which testifieth of your sins and iniquities, ye are angry with him, and cast him out and seek all manner of ways to destroy him; yea, you will say that he is a false prophet, and that he is a sinner, and of the devil, because he testifieth that your deeds are evil.

But behold, if a man shall come among you and shall say: Do this, and there is no iniquity; do that and ye shall not suffer; yea, he will say: Walk after the pride of your own hearts; yea, walk after the pride of your eyes, and do whatsoever your heart desireth—and if a man shall come among you and say this, ye will receive him, and say that he is a prophet. Yea, ye will lift him up, and ye will give unto him of your substance; ye will give unto him of your gold, and of your silver, and ye will clothe him with costly apparel; and because he speaketh flattering words unto you, and he saith that all is well, then ye will not find fault with him.

-Helaman 13:24-28

So I guess the real application is how do we respond to the prophets' council in our day? Do we just listen to the parts when they commend us for our good deads? Or do we hearken to the warnings they give us? We are warned against anger, pornography, going into debt, food storage, etc.

On another related note, you might be interested to know my opinion about the FLDS situation in Texas. I was speaking with my mother about this a few days after the raid happened, and she was quite surprised when I referred her to some comments of President Woodruff after the Official Declaration #1:

I have had some revelations of late, and very important ones to me, and I will tell you what the Lord has said to me. Let me bring your minds to what is termed the manifesto. . . .

The Lord has told me to ask the Latter-day Saints a question, and He also told me that if they would listen to what I said to them and answer the question put to them, by the Spirit and power of God, they would all answer alike, and they would all believe alike with regard to this matter.

The question is this: Which is the wisest course for the Latter-day Saints to pursue—to continue to attempt to practice plural marriage, with the laws of the nation against it and the opposition of sixty millions of people, and at the cost of the confiscation and loss of all the Temples, and the stopping of all the ordinances therein, both for the living and the dead, and the imprisonment of the First Presidency and Twelve and the heads of families in the Church, and the confiscation of personal property of the people (all of which of themselves would stop the practice); or, after doing and suffering what we have through our adherence to this principle to cease the practice and submit to the law, and through doing so leave the Prophets, Apostles and fathers at home, so that they can instruct the people and attend to the duties of the Church, and also leave the Temples in the hands of the Saints, so that they can attend to the ordinances of the Gospel, both for the living and the dead?

The Lord showed me by vision and revelation exactly what would take place if we did not stop this practice. If we had not stopped it, you would have had no use for . . . any of the men in this temple at Logan; for all ordinances would be stopped throughout the land of Zion. Confusion would reign throughout Israel, and many men would be made prisoners. This trouble would have come upon the whole Church, and we should have been compelled to stop the practice. Now, the question is, whether it should be stopped in this manner, or in the way the Lord has manifested to us, and leave our Prophets and Apostles and fathers free men, and the temples in the hands of the people, so that the dead may be redeemed. A large number has already been delivered from the prison house in the spirit world by this people, and shall the work go on or stop? This is the question I lay before the Latter-day Saints. You have to judge for yourselves. I want you to answer it for yourselves. I shall not answer it; but I say to you that that is exactly the condition we as a people would have been in had we not taken the course we have.

. . . I saw exactly what would come to pass if there was not something done. I have had this spirit upon me for a long time. But I want to say this: I should have let all the temples go out of our hands; I should have gone to prison myself, and let every other man go there, had not the God of heaven commanded me to do what I did do; and when the hour came that I was commanded to do that, it was all clear to me. I went before the Lord, and I wrote what the Lord told me to write. . . .

I leave this with you, for you to contemplate and consider. The Lord is at work with us. (Cache Stake Conference, Logan, Utah, Sunday, November 1, 1891. Reported in Deseret Weekly, November 14, 1891., italic added)

I just find it interesting that everything President Woodruff said he saw happening is occurring with these people. Just something to think, because I do believe, like Pres. Woodruff said, the Lord is at work with us, because there still is a prophet on the earth today, and time left for us to repent.

Missionary Moments - Power of Love

The Following is an article from the LDS Church News, 4-26-2008:

Lisa Chavez was raised a member of another church. However, as she grew older, she came to consider herself non-denominational. Her good friend Melinda Silverman was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who often tried to interest her in religion.

The one thing Lisa knew from her religious rearing was "Mormons were bad."

Several years ago, Lisa had a 3-year-old son who lay desperately ill in a hospital. In desperation, she asked Melinda for help. Her friend sent missionaries to the hospital; they gave the boy a blessing. Within 30 minutes, the little boy had regained strength and was running around. The family was astonished.

Out of gratitude, Lisa agreed to invite the missionaries to her home for a meal. Afterward, the missionaries made an appointment and began teaching her the gospel, but it was evident that lifelong traditions and prejudices were hard to shake. Over the course of several discussions, the conversations became a difference of ideologies and often ended in an impasse.

During a moment of quiet in one discussion, Elder Roman Matthew from the Marshall Islands spoke. He hadn't said much on previous occasions because of his limited language skills. Mustering courage and speaking in halting English, he bore his testimony. Lisa rejected his testimony and said he was misguided.

A tear began to roll down Elder Matthew's cheek, then another down the other cheek.

Lisa softened and apologized. "You haven't hurt my feelings," he said in response to her apology. "I love you."

Elder Matthew spreading the good word in Colorado.

Several nights later, she decided she would listen again, this time, with the desire to learn. A testimony blossomed and she was baptized about four weeks later. Her husband soon followed in baptism, as well as her mother, who hadn't attended a church in years.

Lisa now resides in the Pueblo West 2nd Ward, Pueblo Colorado Stake, and eagerly seeks opportunities to share her testimony. — Shaun D. Stahle

---

Photo of Roman Matthew's Baptism: Elder Bryan Boaz, Zach Mizutani, Roman Matthew, Matson Matthew, and Elder Brian Tanner.

Roman Matthew was one of the first Marshallese people I met in Hawai'i. Considering that my companion and I were nearly killed when we got lost going to his home and accidentally entered the restricted section of Pearl Harbor, it was a memorable experience for me being able to meet him for the first time. He helped me learn Marshallese and was later baptized by his older brother Matson. Since then, I have been adopted by the Matthew family.

Two of the neatest experiences of my life were being able to take care of both Matson and Roman when they came to Utah before entering the MTC. One of the most memorable experiences was when I left him unattended for a few minutes in the Cougar Eat on BYU campus and found him a few minutes later eating vanilla ice cream in 20 degree weather! Here's a kid who's never experienced cold like this before, and I found him chowing down on vanilla ice cream! His mother would have killed me had she known I let him do that.

Not long after he entered the MTC, "Elder Matthew the Second" experienced several severe headaches and even blacked out once. He ended up staying in Utah for a little while longer to make sure he was healthy enough to continue on his mission to Colorado. His sister, Mala, and I couldn't help but think these headaches were really ice cream headaches caused from too much ice cream consumption...

The church news article took place in Pueblo, CO, which was his first area. Contrary to what this article says, he speaks English perfectly after having lived in Hawai'i for many years and graduating from high school there. Similar to other Marshallese people, he's shy at times, and no greenies really talk very much in their first area anyway...well...the normal greenies that is.

Elder Roman Matthew and a piggy friend.

After much success, "Elder Matthew the Second" finished a highly successful mission at the end of February of this year. He had an hour layover in the Salt Lake City airport which his mother asked me and several other Marshallese people in the area to try and see him. Several Marshallese guys all work at the airport, including Bryan Boaz, my companion who helped teach him, so we had a pretty good chance of being able to see him. I had planned to go, but had talked myself out of trying to see him because I didn't think there would be any chance for Bryan to find him, get him out of the secure area of the airport to met to chat, and then get him back through security and onto the plane in the space of an hour.

Just as I was pulling up to work the next morning, I got a phone call from Bryan Boaz who asked me, "Guess who I have with me?" I nearly choked...ROMAN? What on earth was he still doing in Utah the next day?! Apparently Roman had been having so much fun "bwebwenato/talkin' story" with the guys in the airport that he'd missed his plane home. Who misses their plane coming home from their mission? My mother would have killed me...his mother had practice already when Matson was delayed getting home due to a huge typhoon, but still...

Bryan had found Roman still at the airport the next morning when he went to work. Not knowing any of our phone numbers, he had spent the night in the airport. Wanting to correct that mistake, Bryan had wisked him home, fed him breakfast and shower.

Cassidy Matthew, Brian Tanner, Elder Roman Matthew, Abija Bano and Bryan Boaz in the SLC airport, Feb. 2008.

It was a miracle that one of the missionaries that had baptized him found him while going to work in the airport that morning. The coincidence is too baffling for me to explain otherwise. Bryan had answered Mama Matthew's prayers and had performed the work of an angel in saving him. Elder Roman Matthew was able to have a farewell party after all, seeing four missionaries that he'd known in Hawai'i.

My mother found the church news article that began this post last Saturday and went ballistic. My father and her were telling everyone in my home ward about this, and everyone was so excited to see an article about someone that had been baptized by someone they know in the church news. I just think that it was interesting that this article was titled the Power of Love, because really, that's what makes the Marshallese people so amazing to me. When we are filled with "iakwe/aloha/love," we cannot be surprised when Missionary Moments happen everywhere we go.

Baby Shower

I went to a baby shower today.

Now I know what you're thinking, I'm a handsome, single, free-lovin' guy. What on earth was I doing at a baby shower?

That's easy to explain. I was invited.

One of my good friends (who just so happens to be Happy! Wahoo! I love Happy People!) was having a baby shower and decided to have a co-ed baby shower. She invited me and all of my roommates to come. The others felt uncomfortable about the idea of going to a baby shower, so they chickened out. I guess I just love her more than them, either that or I'm more starved for entertainment and adventure.

Getting a gift certificate at Target (because I didn't feel comfortable picking out baby clothes or diapers...I don't even know if it's going to be a boy or girl), and having made a hilarious card, I felt ready for my cultural experience with the female gender. Not having any sisters, it felt like scenario Terry Pratchett wrote about where a knight enters a cave with a nearby sign saying "Here be Dragons."

The Front and Back of the Card, featuring myself and Mrs. Duncan with Michelle Chisholm, my roommate's sister.

Hoping into my car, I began driving towards the address on the card. 18 N. 1500 E. Now, I don't know how well you know Provo, but there is no such place as 18 N. 1500 E. The area where that address should be is actually part of the state mental hospital. Now, I already knew that there was a mental hospital there, but since the address said there was a house there, I figured there must have been a cottage or something there right next to it. I'm sure they joke a lot about their crazy neighbors. Maybe the patients do their yard work or something, right? That seemed perfectly logical at the time.

The inside of the card, featuring members of the Waipahu 3rd Ward Primary. From left to right, Sister Boaz (neice of my companion who taught me Marshallese), Paul Ceaser (grandson of the woman who made the amimono flowers in my car), Jun Jun (William Swain Jr., the son of the man who translated the Marshallese Book of Mormon), and Brother Boaz (again, the nephew of Bryan Boaz). Further proof that Marshallese kids are the cutest in the world.

So there I was driving up to the state mental hospital looking for a baby shower, thinking how absurd all of this was. Of course there was no cozy little cottage with mental patients doing the yard work outside, just the mental hospital, with loonies running around in the road, like I'd been expecting.

Now, a more stubborn/crazy person would probably burst through the doors of the loony bin shouting "Hey everybody! The parties here! Wahoo! Where's the baby?! Who has the baby? Did you bring the diapers?" and so on, and would probably found himself doing the "yard work" a few hours later.

Because I'm not that dumb or stubborn, I broke down and called them to find out that the correct address was really around 1800 N. Whoops, now there's a typo. I found the real address and had a crazy fun time with my friends there. Mrs. Jessi was literally twice as big as the last time I saw her, which I thought was awesome. Oh, and don't worry, there were more guys there than girls when I showed up, and I didn't see a single diaper. The only baby shower game I saw was Mario Kart 64 on the Nintendo, so it hardly felt like a baby shower at all. No dragons at all.

I have a British friend (who is also Happy) who is always trying to get me to quit my day job and become a movie writer because she thinks my stories are hilarious. That scenario with the guy bursting into the mental hospital looking for a baby shower probably make for a pretty unique movie. We could even call it "Baby Shower."

Maybe I shouldn't quit my day job just yet...