The Dog Side

We slowly learned a few months after getting Louie that he is very clever in figuring out ways to get into trouble. At first I think he was trying really hard to please us so we would let him stay with us. Recently though, he has become much more audacious in pulling off such crimes as sleeping in our bed or stealing Rudy's food. Rudy never gave us this much trouble because he is not as creative as Louie in thwarting our plans. Our lives have become a never ending battle against Louie's cunning ingenuity and Rudy's muscle.

The week before Isaiah was born was especially wild where Louie somehow figured out how to tear down the baby-gate we use to guard our kitchen. He stole some cookies and then ate them on our bed, leaving crumbs everywhere. They literally destroyed an entire can of Spam, leaving only a small scrap of the label on one of their dog beds. The entire house was littered with garbage.

The broken fence

 All that remained of the can of Spam.

 Rudy and Louie: Partners in Crime

Rudy and Louie have been absolutely in love with Isaiah since the moment they met him. One concern that I have is that the dogs will try to recruit Izzy to join the "Dog Side" and assist them in perpetrating crimes in the future.

One of my favorite movies as a kid was the Empire Strikes Back. I really enjoyed the film's portrayal of the battle between good and evil. The film's depiction of Darth Vader and the Emperor's attempts to turn Luke Skywalker, to the "Dark Side" were fascinating to me as a child. I fear Louie and Rudy may similarly try to turn Izzy, our new hope for the future.

It will likely start with simple things, like getting him to share food at dinner time. Eventually it will lead to opening closed doors or the fridge. Ultimately, it could lead to an entire insurrection against any parental control in our home. Dogs and kids will live in a new utopia free of rules and boundaries!

Do you have any ideas for thwarting the impending Doggie Rebellion?

Junk Mail

As law school graduation approaches, I've been getting spammed with junkmail for graduation announcement and diploma plaques. Today while getting the mail, I received another envelope of "Important graduation information" addressed to "Brian Tanner or Current Resident".

Knowing it was just another junk mailer, I announced "Rudy, you got a letter" and tried to hand it to him. Rudy sniffed it and then rejected my offer. I then turned and offerred it to Louie. "Louie, it's for you!" Louie ran up to the letter, chomped his jaws on it, thrashed it from side to side and then spat it out onto the ground.

Thus is the fate of junk mail in our house.

Where We’ve Been

Sorry I haven’t written for a few months. Things have been pretty crazy around here for us. Here’s what we’ve been up to:

• Over the summer, I started interning at the Disability Law Center in downtown Salt Lake City. This job has been a blast where I’ve been working on the abuse and neglect team to help protect persons with disabilities.
• Also over the summer, I took a class on Equality, Liberty, and Civil Rights which required me to write a huge research paper. I wrote on a plan that a few GOP lawmakers have to introduce bills that would keep children born to undocumented aliens from receiving birth certificates. After wading through thousands of pages of legal work, I ultimately concluded that neither the US Congress or individual state could do such a thing without violating the Constitution’s 14th Amendment. When I wasn’t working that summer, I was writing that beast.
• Jen and I were called as missionaries to help teach English at our local Spanish Branch. Ever since we got engaged two years ago, Jen and I have been missionary companions now in three different areas (Spokane, Provo and now SLC). At one point I was pretty good at Spanish thanks to Riverview Jr. High and Murray High School, but now my Spanish comes out jumbled with Tongan. Even though I don’t have time to study Spanish full time, I’m slowly getting better.
• Jen is pregnant with a baby boy. That is awesome! 

  

  When we discovered we had a "little spot" inside of Jen.
  
  

  We are soo excited for this little guy to come fill our home with love and wildness. Louie and Rudy are pretty excited too. “Little Boy” is due sometime around April 6th.

  

  Little Boy

• Jen and I had a fun trip to California in June. We crashed my cousin Katie’s wedding reception, then went to Angelica and John’s in Madera. Jen gave me the tour of Stockton and Fresno where she grew up, and we had fun celebrating our first anniversary at Lake Tahoe.

  

  We saw some cheesy touristy brochure that advertised holding a pine cone on Lake Tahoe. We couldn't stop laughing at it, and though we would recreate it ourselves.

• Jen walked in the BYU graduation in August. She looked really hott, and I am so proud of my wife for graduating.
• Rudy got fat. He gained 20 lbs. this year, and has been put on a diet. My dad also has started coming by to run with the dogs every Saturday. He’s since lost 10 lbs. in two months, which is like losing 30 lbs. for a human.

  

  Rudy before his diet.
  
  

  

  Rudy after his diet started, and minus 10 lbs.

• Fall semester was pretty crazy for us. I was taking 17 credits of classes (Business Organizations, Bankruptcy, Trusts and Estates, Evidence, and Judicial Process) and working, in addition to church and other responsibilities. Basically, I spent every waking minute studying. Jen was also student teaching at Riverview Jr. High while pregnant. Everyday our calendars would be completely scheduled and accounted for.
• The week before Thanksgiving, we all went to Las Vegas and California on vacation. This was a much needed break to allow us to rest for a few days. We went to a friend’s wedding in the Las Vegas Temple, before heading to California. 

  

  Louie and Rudy cuddling while on a roadtrip to Vegas.

  We then spent the rest of the week preparing a 90th Birthday present for Jen’s grandpa. His favorite magazine is Time, so we made a huge book for him with all of the cover stories from each birthday that he’s had. Grandpa Perlmutter later pulled me aside and secretly told me, “Don’t tell anyone, but this is the best present I’ve ever gotten.”

  

  Izzy Perlmutter: Man of the Year

  Louie also enjoyed the sunshine while in California, and got into a lot of mischief when he somehow snuck outside and jumped into the swimming pool. His tail, which normally whirls around like a helicopter, actually went limp for a day from the shock of the cold water. Thankfully, we got our happy lab tail back the next day once he was able to spend enough time basking in sunlight.



Louie loves sunshine almost as much as mischief.

• Once I survived my four tests and two papers, I’m not enjoying my winter break. We spent Christmas in SLC with my parents and at the Marshallese peet party. A few days later, we went back to California for another week to celebrate our anniversary and spend time with Jen’s family. We went to the San Diego Temple and Olive Garden on New Year's Eve before celebrating the new year and our engagement anniversary on Sunset Beach with fireworks.

Louie

Jen, Rudy and I adopted a new dog named Louie the day after New Years. Louie is super cute, and he and Rudy have become best buddies.

 Louie, Brian and Rudy the night they adopted Louie

Jen and I had been talking about getting another dog for several months, especially since we moved to our new apartment in Salt Lake City. Rudy became really depressed since we moved because he didn’t have his giant field or the social pack of dogs he was used to. He was lonely and unhappy, even though we would take him on lots of fun doggie walks and adventures.

We decided that the end of Christmas break was the best time to get another dog. We got him from the Utah Animal Adoption Center, a no-kill center in North Salt Lake. We brought Rudy with us to pick out “his” new dog at the shelter. They became best friends right away, and Louie came right up to us to snuggle. We fell in love with him and took him home.

 Louie the night we adopted him.

Louie is extremely obedient. He will do anything we ask, including taking baths. He is very eager to please and wants to keep us happy. He can play Frisbee for hours on end. He loves to snuggle, as well as wrestle with Rudy for hours.

 Louie and Rudy snuggling.

Frisbee!

Louie’s new trick is he realized that we control the dog through their collars, so he tries to steal Rudy’s all of the time. While wrestling, Louie can grab the collar in his mouth and yank it off, which makes Rudy look really embarrassed. It’s hilarious stuff.

Louie has a very thin fur coat, so he doesn’t shed very much. However, this thin coat makes him shiver all of the time when he is outside. We had to get him some sweaters and coats to keep him from freezing on walks. Jen and I are both a little embarrassed about this, but Louie loves wearing stylish sweaters.

One last note about Louie is that his primary love language is words of affirmation. He loves to be told that he’s a good boy, which he is!

Good Dogs: Rudy and Louie

Washer/Dryer

Jen and I purchased a washer and dryer for our new apartment. One night last week, Jen went to Daniel’s fiancé's bridal shower in Provo, leaving me home alone to install the appliances. Our laundry room is in a closet on a balcony outside our third story apartment, which was really cold during our recent cold spell here in Utah.

Upon successfully installing the washer and dryer, I went to go back inside. To my surprise, I found the sliding door to our apartment had locked on me on the balcony when I had shut it. Frustrated and cold, I tried wiggling the door, but no luck, it stayed locked. Our kitchen window, which overlooks the balcony, was also locked.

I looked at my tools that I had on hand to see if I could James Bond my way into the apartment. Pliers, scissors, cell phone and Rudy’s 50 foot dog cable. I tried using the scissors to unhinge the kitchen window only to mess up the scissors. I could have used the pliers to bash in the window, but that would have made Jen mad and I’d still be cold inside.

I know! I could use the dog cable to rappel off the side of the building, down to the ground and then enter through the front door! But through the window I could see that, sure enough, the front door was locked. So even if I managed to reach the ground without killing myself, I would still be locked out of the apartment.

That’s when my attempts to enter the apartment finally woke up Rudy from his nap in the front room. Hurrah! Rudy can save me! All I needed him to do was paw the door latch and, Presto!, I’d be inside! I started jumping up and down, pawing at the door as if I were trying to paw Rudy, to encourage him to paw back at me. But the dog just sat there, staring at me through the window, wondering why I was acting so strange.

Eventually I gave up when Rudy went back to sleep, realizing that Lassie wouldn’t be saving me this time. I went back into the laundry room to stay warm, and called Jen to admit my predicament. Wishing I had a book to study for my finals, I waiting until Jen came home and saved me from the balcony.

I love Jen. She always saves me when I get myself into trouble or need help. I’m soo glad that I’m married to a super heroine.

Halloween

Jen made an interesting observation to me today: "Since when did the porn industry take over Halloween?" I was surprised at the truth in the remark. For several years now, the Halloween industry has grown larger and larger, making it the second biggest holiday after Christmas. At the same time, Halloween costumes for women have become "sexier" and "sexier". It's gotten to the point that Halloween stores are almost like porn shops with how much skin you see. What was once a holiday for kids to get dressed up and get candy has become a porn holiday. One of Jen's favorite movies, "Mean Girls", even says that Halloween is the one day you're allowed to dress like a slut and no one will think otherwise.

This makes me sick. I wish it wasn't this way. We should do everything we can to take the day back from the porn industry. We need to respect our bodies and not make exceptions for one day of the year. We need to teach our kids what costumes are acceptable and what are not. We need to encourage others to chose more modest costumes. I think we can do it if we get enough people involved.

On another note, we're getting dressed up as a family this year for Halloween. Jen will be Little Red Riding Hood, I'm going to be the Wood'sman who saves her, and Rudy will be the Big Bad Wolf Dressed as Grandma.

Super Jen

My wife is amazing. I think she has super powers.

• Yesterday, she went to class for about nine hours straight.
• After a long day, she then came home and walked Rudy, even though she was already exhausted.
• She stayed up late with me when I wasn't feeling well.
• Rudy woke us up in the middle of the night to go play outside. She told me to rest and she would take him outside.
  
• I had a class rescheduled for this morning at 7:30 am, which meant I had to leave by 5:30 am. She woke up at 5:00 this morning to help me get out the door, and even made me lunch.
• She has successfully been able to get some of the wildest, most at-risk kids at Dickson Middle School in Provo to behave themselves and participate while student teaching there.
  

I have the coolest wife ever! I love her!

Apartment Search

Jen and I are searching for a new apartment in Salt Lake City to move to in December. This is not because we don't love where we're at, but because we want to move closer to the U of U so I won't have a four hour commute everyday anymore. Jen loves me!

In our apartment search, Jen's come across a lot of funny rating and reviews on ApartmentRatings.com. Here are a few:

"The pictures looked nice, but the apartment smelled like urine."

"It seemed nice at first, until my neighbor got shot and killed."

"Yeah he got shot outside my door, but seriously, that could have happened anywhere."

"Close to world class ski resorts!" - In Midvale.

"I got locked in the racquetball area and then made me pay $50 to borrow the equipment."

"I do not like this place. I have been here three months and just found out I have to put the gas bill in my name....They don't even do repairs within 24 hours!"

"Ghetto. Ghetto. Ghetto."

"My neighbor kept beating his wife, and I notified the security patrol about it, who told me 'It's not our problem, call the police.'"

"I'm a single female, living alone, and I feel safe because security is always patrolling." Posted about the same complex with several violent reviews. I suspect that one was written by a rapist.

"This place is auto-theft paradise!"

"I lived in this place for quite some time and had nothing but problems here for the last couple of years. The first problem was due to the pigeons that live in the area. These pigeons roost, nest and raise their young on the balconies of the complex. I literally had ten pounds of pigeon waste on my balcony at one point, and the management would do nothing about it until I contacted the health department."

"RUN!!! no matter what they offer you!!"

"[N]ever live ANYWHERE near apartment 602[,] unless you like high school kids who don[']t ever go to school, don[']t work and run a drug selling operation out of there apartment. [I]f you like random people coming by at all times of the day and night, then they would be your ideal neighbors. So request to live near apartment 602."

"If you value your life, property, sanity, hearing, and safety, please do not even think of this place as an option. Go to a homeless shelter if you are that desperate, it would be better than here."



"We thought it would be romantic for our first apartment as newly weds to face the duck pond. But then the ducks kept us up all night quacking." - Jen is actually really interested in that apartment becausethey have gas stoves, washer/dryers, and fireplaces. Rudy is really interested in the ducks.

Doggie Bumper Cars

My dog Rudy got in a fender bender the other day. Rudy loves wrestling and rough-housing with people and other dogs, and one of his favorite wrestling buddies is a neighbor dog named Tala. Tala is also a husky, and a little bit larger than Rudy, but they love to bash into each other for hours.

The other day Rudy was out playing in the field in our backyard with Tala when Tala's owners called to Rudy. Rudy started charging full speed down the hill toward them. Tala, seeing Rudy running down the hill, thought it would be fun if he ran full speed into him. There was a loud thud and both dogs were dazed and limping for a few moments afterward. Tala's owners were horrified, thinking they had seriously hurt each other. But because both dogs are made from bricks and concrete, they were fine. They ran into each other a few more times at full speed thinking it was so much fun. The dogs are hilarious.

Rudy now has a scar on the lower right part of his nose where his fur and skin were ripped away where Tala hit him. He'll probably have it for a month or so until his fur can grow back.

Just another reason why we don't let Rudy drive. He'd ram other cars thinking it be fun!

Rudy driving? Not anytime soon with his driving record.

When Daddy Comes Home

Around 3:00 AM last weekend, after having been up for 22 hours with no sleep, I made up this silly parody of "When Daddy Comes Home". I thought it was soo funny that I made Jen record me right away. I call it "Rudy's When Daddy Comes Home". Rudy always misses me because I'm always gone all day long, everyday. I'm sure this is what he thinks when I come home from a long day at school because he's always really excited to see me.

Every day when daddy gets home, glad as you know what!
Wag my tail and jump for joy and sniff him in the butt.
Wrestle him to the ground, bite him hard like this!
Snap at his face, and give him what? A great big LICK!

What do you think?

Wolf Cub

The other day Jen discovered while researching name onomastics (origins of names) that the name of our dog Rudy means "Wolf". It is the diminuitive or shortened form of the name Rudolf, which was old English for "famous wolf." It makes sense. Wolves howl (Roo) and bark (wulf). Roo-wulf = Rudolf.

Rudy watching for deer in our backyard.

When Jen first found our dog and asked him his name, he told her his name was "Rooooo!" Really, he was trying to tell her his name was Wolf!

Jen and Rudy

Rudy is so smart.

Rudy's Smile

Wedding 6-20-2009

One month ago today, Jennifer and I were married in the Salt Lake Temple. Our first month of marriage has been really great. Here are a few pictures from our wedding day:

Mr. and Mrs. Tanner leaving the temple.

Tanner siblings.

Four of the Marshallese Groomsmen, from Left to Right: Ring Nang, Steve Lutz, Bryan Boaz and Austin Lowe. I was missionary companions with Steve, Bryan and Austin, and Steve and I baptized Rick's family.

Tanner Family portrait.

I love all of my Groomsmen. Front row, from left to right: Austin Lowe, Daniel Tanner, Brian Tanner, Jennifer Tanner, Scott Perlmutter. Back row: Steve Lutz, James Welch, Dave Adamusko, Roman Matthew, Bryan Boaz, Rick Nang, Bryan Chisholm.

Bridesmaids: Angelica, Wendy, Jenny, Lissette, Shakira, Olia, Melinda, Jen, Kristen, Josephine and Laurice.

Jen and her niece, Jayden.
Jen had a hott dress.

Our rings.

Latter that day, we had a ring ceremony and reception at my parent's stake center. Because of bad weather, we were really lucky to find a new venue and decorations only a day before the wedding.

Rudy was our Ring Dog for our ring ceremony.

Jen and her father walking down the isle.

Exchanging rings

Our real cake. We were going to have a pinata cake as a decoy, but we ended up just displaying the real one. The shock of us pulling out a bat and hitting the pinata off the table would have been too much for my mother.
During dinner, my adopted sister, Maggie Nang, gave a hula dance performance with her friend.

Our first dance to "He Heals Me" by India.Arie. Everyone cried. We're pretty romantic.

Everyone had fun dancing.

Leaving the reception.