Marshallese Militia

Jen and I moved to Salt Lake City this last weekend, which was a pretty wild ordeal considering I’m in my finals period of law school. We had so many interesting miracles happen which helped make the move easier for us.

The plan was to load up a moving van on Friday night and then drive it to SLC the next morning to complete the move. The move was very difficult because of the steep hill in our backyard that we had to climb on the way up. We were blessed with help from my brother and his fiancé, as well as some neighbors from the ward, but it was still a grueling experience and we were up late moving heavy boxes of law books.

Saturday morning, I woke up all sore and tired. Reflecting on our move the night before, I was not excited to move everything all over again.

And then a miracle happened. Just as Jen and I got our new key to our apartment, Batrick Boaz (older brother of one of my mission companions and president of the Utah Marshallese Association - UMA) and Rick Nang (a brother I baptized on my mission) showed up with two vans full of ten other Marshallese young men. Their Marshallese Militia organized themselves, grabbed our stuff in the van, and moved it up three flights of stairs as if it was nothing. One teenager even carried up our 80 lbs punching bag by himself with no difficulty.

It took the Marshallese Militia in 40 minutes to empty the van, which had taken us six hours to fill up the night before. They finished just when John, Melinda and my dad arrived with the pizza to help. It was amazing, and Jen and I even got to have an unexpected nap in our new place because we finished so quickly. In a way, it was a miracle to help give me strength when I didn’t think I could keep going like we had the night before.

So I’ve learned my lesson. If I ever need to move again, I’m definitely calling that Marshallese Militia again.

Sarah Palin in the Inlander

I Saw You:

Riverside Family Foods

Tues. night 11-17-09. The spark was immediate when our eyes connected upon entering the store. Was so glad to see you had forgotten the romaine lettuce. Wish the environment would have allowed for more of a conversation. Was hoping to catch you in the parking lot but you already had the car in gear. Thought about you all the way home. Hope our paths cross again!!

Stout Lovers 11-21

You and mom were sampling at Northern Lights after Disney on Ice. We all talked a little. Not enough for me. I'd build the dance floor to share it with you.

Empyrean Show

I saw you at the Friends of the Empyrean show. It was around 11PM, and The Globes were on stage. You with your sporadic, jerky movements of the neck that I am guessing are what you would call dance moves. Not to mention your uncanny good looks and charming smile... I noticed you in your blue hoodie, and I'm fairly certain you noticed me in my striped sweater. You seem like a really genuine person, and I hope to see you around. If you'd like to have some coffee or catch another show sometime contact me in the "You Saw Me" section.

Players & Spectators

Went there for drinks with friends and became completely distracted. You: Beautiful blonde dreadlocks, sexy eyes, intoxicating smile and septum piercing dancing with a couple of your girls. Me: Came up & commented on your hair & got your name, 'Lindsay', but was too shy to get your number at the time (which I've regretted all night). Let's correct that mistake. Coffee? Drinks?

Cd'A Fred Meyers

I saw you on Dec. 10th at the Cd'A Fred Meyers. You were wearing glasses and hugging children. I'm pretty sure that you were signing books that you had written. While I was fighting in line with the soccer moms you looked up and winked at me... you seem so familiar.. Didn't you call me a pro-american once? Or was it when you were discussing our neighboring country called Afghanistan. Would you like to meet up sometime and go on a $150,000 shopping spree, we can bill it to America tax payers. Until then don't kill any moose without me

I’m pretty sure the last one was about Sarah Pallin’s Coeur D'Alene, ID visit on her national campaign, I mean book tour. I laughed out loud repeatedly the first time I read this, especially at the part that said “you were hugging children.”

On a related note, Jen and I saw on the news last night people camped out overnight, in subzero temperatures  at the local Costco waiting to get their books autographed by Palin. I wanted to go see the “true believers” in person, but Jen wouldn’t let me. It’s probably for the best, because they’d probably wouldn’t have appreciated my moderate views.

If I go to Costco, what book character should I dress up as?

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Excitement Over Sarah Palin's Book Release
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Jen and I, in the need for some spontaneous fun after moving this weekend, went to watch the new claymation film, Fantastic Mr. Fox. This quirky movie had me laughing out loud hilariously the entire time, and I rarely find films these days funny. It reminded me of a claymation version of O Brother, Where Art Thou?

The basic plot is the former chicken thief Mr. Fox who has since given up his life of crime for his wife decides to pull off one last master plan and make his wicked neighbors, Boggis, Bunce and Bean look like fools in the process.

One thing I really liked about the film what the general clean language. All swear words are replaced by the phrase “cuss” whenever one would normally expect a swear word, which I found really clever instead of foul.

I generally try to support creative and qualitative films when they come out, so I strongly recommend this one. Here’s the trailer:

Grandma Gorman

Recently during the Thanksgiving break, Jen, Rudy and I went down to southern California to visit Jen’s family. The day after Thanksgiving, Jen’s brother needed a ride to the LAX airport for an early morning flight. Since we were downtown, Jen and I planned to have some fun in the area after leaving the airport.
This being the first time that I had been to California as a married man, I felt a desire to visit places that were important to my family during this time when I have started my own family. Jen and I visited Inglewood, the area of L.A. just east of LAX where my mother grew up. My grandmother, Merle Gorman, was buried there in the Inglewood cemetery. She died in 1975 when my mom was only fifteen.
I’m not going to lie, my grandmother had a difficult life as a result of her disobeying the commandments of God. For example, she was addicted to cigarettes, which caused my mother to be born prematurely and ultimately resulted in her early death from lung cancer at age 53. Her life was very influential to me growing up because she made the word of wisdom and other commandments personal for me.

  Merle Gorman’s grave

I have only been to her grave one other time when I was fifteen. I was interested in returning so I could show my new wife to my grandma. It was a spiritual experience for me and I felt that Jen was approved of.
In addition to visiting my grandmother’s grave, we also visited the grave of her parents and my great-grandparents, Siney and Helena Lewis. Their parents were Mormon pioneers who had travelled from Kentucky to Nauvoo and later to Vernal, UT to be with the saints. Their parents had helped to build the Vernal Tabernacle, which is now the Vernal Temple. Siney and Helena eventually came to California, where my grandma was born. They passed away in the 1950’s before my mother was even born.

Siney and Helena Lewis’ graves

While standing before their graves, Jen made a very interesting comment that has resonated with me ever since. She said that it was interesting to see that while they had a daughter that apostatized and went against the commandments of God, my great-grandparents were still blessed with a righteous posterity that included Jen and me. Their ancestors had sacrificed everything they had for God, and yet they had died never seeing their daughter repent. Yet their sacrifices were not forgotten and within one generation their family has returned to the church and done much good in the world.
It reminded me of when Lehi passed away in the Book of Mormon, and his sons’ families were living wickedly. How tragic that must have felt, and yet there was likely some solace and peace from the knowledge that one day his sons’ families would repent and receive the blessings of God. 2 Nephi 1:17; 4:9.
All of this shows God’s great love for us and that he will honor his promises to us. He will give us opportunities to repent, and he will bless us greatly if we do.

Arnold Layne

The other day a creep broke into my sister-in-law’s home in the middle of the night, rustled through her dresser, and fell asleep in her bedroom. She discovered him around 4:30 when she heard breathing in the room with her and tripped over him when she got up to turn on the light. She was really lucky because all he ran away after that and only stole her bra. Apparently the same guy has broken into three other homes in recent months. You can read and watch more about it here, here and here.

This reminds me of the early Pink Floyd single “Arnold Layne” about an underwear thief who goes to jail. Check out this really awesome and crazy music video from 1967.

Arnold Layne had a strange hobby
Collecting clothes
Moonshine washing line
They suit him fine

On the wall hung a tall mirror
Distorted view, see through baby blue
He dug it
Oh, Arnold Layne
It's not the same, takes two to know
Two to know, two to know, two to know
Why can't you see?

Arnold Layne, Arnold Layne, Arnold Layne, Arnold Layne

Now he's caught - a nasty sort of person.
They gave him time
Doors bang - chain gang - he hates it

Oh, Arnold Layne
It's not the same, takes two to know
two to know, two to know, two to know,
Why can't you see?

Arnold Layne, Arnold Layne, Arnold Layne, Arnold Layne
Don't do it again.

I hope the police are able to catch my sister-in-law’s “Arnold Layne.” And he’d better not do it again.

The Latest Inlander

More cheesy fun from the latest issue.

I Saw You:

Spokane Courthouse

There you were walking down the deep hallway at the courthouse, Thursday, Nov. 12th on the 3rd floor, tall, tint of color, brown eyes, nice dark haircut, perfect with every inch, walking with you is a shorter girl with different colored hair. I hope she is your friend or family of some kind. Some day I wish to have your strong arms wrapped around me! Coffee?

Valley Rosauers

Long dark hair beautiful smile: I have not seen you at work for a very long time, but soon as you come back I would love to take you on a date? Remember your eyes are still sparkling in the sky at night!!!!!

You Saw Me:

Re: Grizzly Adams

Like raindrops are drawn to soil, I am drawn to you.
I love you like plague loves boils, Like morning light loves the dew.
You saw me sipping some whiskey and writing some poetry too.
Since I think that I'd like to get frisky, I'll reply to your I Saw you.

Yikes. That’s just a little too weird.

Cheers:

Book Club Girls

Thank you Book Club girls! Your non-judgemental support and laughter makes me realize why I am so lucky to live here! I love you ladies! You are so hot! Carl

Oh man, that Carl at the end was unexpected. Jen and I laughed soo hard.

Jeers:

Shopping Karts

Why do you leave shopping karts in the middle of the parking lot? You know who you are. The kart return area is ten steps away. Has shopping exhausted you so much that you can't even take ten more steps to return the kart in an appropriate place? Are you too lazy? Ignorant? Important? These karts end up blocking parking spots and drive lanes; you're lazyness/ignorance is inconveniencing people who have real business to do. So from now on when I see someone who leaves their kart out in the parking lot I'm going to put the kart in my truck, discreetly follow you home and leave the cart in your front yard. Then pray you learn diligence and responsibility.

Faith

To a certain pastor of a church, thank you for confirming my non-belief in organized religion. My Grandmother is on her death bed and instead of saying you couldn't make it out to say a final prayer with her, you promised me you would come & never showed. I guess since she hasn't attended church in a few years because of the onset of alzheimers & hasn't given money to your church in awhile, she is no longer important. If this is what 20 years of devotion to a congregation gets you, I think I will put my faith in more reliable things. Thanks again.

This one makes me want to be a good priesthood holder so that I never cause anyone to feel like that.

Cheers from the Inlander

Here are some more awesome I Saw You and Cheers ads comments from the latest issues of the Inlander:

To All The Single Women
In Idaho and Washington, all sizes and shapes. You are beautiful on the inside and out. Remember Lips are the pathway to romance.

Oh man, I don't know why, but that cracked me up soo hard. I say this to Jen all of the time now..."To all of the married women in this room, you are beautiful on the inside and out. Remember Lips are the pathway to romance."

Here's some more:

Neighbor Down The Street
I see you almost every day as you live just a few houses down the street. We haven't spoke at all but wave when ever we pass by and it always makes my face smile even when I don't want it too. I wish you would just come say Hi some time.

Bank Teller
I always thought banks were institutional. I never thought I would walk in & see u. The blonde teller that made me forget everything. Hooray to B of A for hiring you. I was tall guy that was cracking jokes & hopefully sweeping you off your feet.

Job Retention

Sometimes I do things that will forever solidify my position as husband to Jennifer. On occasion, I will successfully rise to a task so great and so challenging, that my wife will forever have bragging rights in Relief Society and in other social circles about how awesome her husband is. My great deeds will have men everywhere ashamed they cannot be as great of a husband as I am.

This is one of those times.

Allow me to boast for a minute about my great deed and accomplishment, which will ensure that my wife loves me forever and ever.

I, Brian Keith Tanner, finished all of my wedding thank you cards. They are stamped and in the mail. The duck is in the water, the beast is slain.

Now I just have to organize the storage room and I will have done all the impossible tasks that must be done in my home.

Pearl Jam - Just Breathe

This is one of my new favorite songs. Enjoy!

Job Interview

I had a great job interview today to intern at the Salt Lake Immigration Court. It was my first real job interview for a legal position, so I was nervous about it. The interview ended up going really well, with a lot of discussion about my Marshallese service activities over the past few years. At the end of the interview, they offered me the position. The interviewer told me they have never offered a job so quickly to someone before, which made me feel pretty cool.

I still have to pass an FBI background check, but I will most likely be starting at the beginning of next year. Unfortunately, the position is only for the semester, but it will still be great getting my foot into the immigration court room. I'm interested in possibly doing immigration work full time once I graduate, and my advisers at the law school all think this will give me great experiences and help me look very attractive to immigration law firms. I really look forward to an exciting Spring Semester at the U!